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Monday, August 10, 2009

A Quick Hello

This is the first time I've had my computer on in a couple of weeks. I check my messages on my dad's computer when I feel up to it.

I'm hanging in here. The nightmare continues but the Zoloft is helping. I wish I could describe the awful physical sensations, the weird dreadful creepy feelings and the horror movie that plays in my head sometimes. It is so not me! I just don't think those kind of thoughts. I think butterflies and hummingbirds and soft fuzzy things.

Anyway, I've done a couple loads of laundry today and mixed 2 batches of cookies that I'll bake tomorrow. I try to do what I can do when I can do it. Laying around watching TV is getting old but much of the time, that's all I can do.

Scott is still on vacation so I'm giving my parents a break. Not that they mind that I lay on their sofa and watch TV. I mean, who is better capable of taking care of me than my parents?

My mom tries to encourage me to make a card now and then. I've done quite a few but frankly, when I look at them now, I can't remember making any of them. I have done a bit of stitching the past few days. I finished a pillowcase and started on the companion. With all the laying around I do, it'll be nice to have a pretty new set of pillowcases. I'm just trying to make myself do a few things, even if only for a little while here and there.

On a happy note, I still have a male hummingbird here. The males usually leave the first week of July. Perhaps the one I'm seeing a young one born this year. If that's the case, he'll head back south with the females the end of September. If it isn't a young one, maybe he's still here because of our screwy weather this year!

Well, just wanted to say hello before I turn my computer off. Thank you again everyone for your encouragement. Everyone tells me that this will go away eventually. It's just a slow process. Too darn slow in my opinion but it is what it is.


Magpie's Mumblings said...

It is a slow process Pam, but it sounds as though it is happening for you. Take heart in the fact that you feel a little bit like stitching and that you have a lovely hummingbird to watch. Maybe God sent him to cheer you up and let you know there's an end to this.

abigail2 said...

So glad you stopped by to let us know how you're doing.

Hang in there.



Annie said...

I was so happy to see you back! I hope that knowing that your notes make us happy helps you heal a little bit.
Congratulations on your hummer friend. I sometimes see one here in central Florida, but yesterday it was a bunny that I frightened when I cranked up the lawnmower. All creatures are welcome to my yard (except the gators-I'm about a half mile from a large river, and I really don't like those babies straying too far from their home.) Too many folks don't understand the gators, but treated with respect, they are fine.
Well, I want to say again I am delighted to hear from you, and I wish with all my heart that you continue to move forward to health and happiness. Peace and all our love.

FredaB said...

Good to see you posting again Pam. The baby steps are working if you are doing a bit of embroidery and making cookies.
You are ahead of me in the cookery dept. with the cookies. Step by step you sound like you are slowly getting better. Probably doesn't seem fast enough for you but keep plowing ahead and one of these days you will be back to the old Pam blogging every day with something else beautiful to show us.



CindyMae said...

I am so glad to hear from you. You have been on my mind and I continue to pray for you. It is a slow process but just hang in there!!! I am so glad to hear that you are doing some stitching and card making, even though you don't remember making them. Making cookies is a good thing as well. Just making your self doing things sometimes is a BIG help, keep ti up.

Maybe your mail hummingbird is hanging around just to make you smile a little bit!!!

Hope to hear from you again soon, Pam!! Remember that we are all here for you!!!

Tracy said...

Hi Pam,
I do know what you're going through and it sounds as if you're doing better. The Zolfot does help and it makes a big difference. Just hang in there and things will get better. I must admit I went through the same thing a few years ago and have been on Zolfot for much of that time. I will keep you in my prayers, and please know that you have lots of people who truely care about you.

Tracy Yandle

Charlene said...

It's good to see a spark of happiness. More will come... Hugs and puppy kisses from Pixie and me!

lynoth1 said...

Hi. I feel your pain, literally. I have Bipolar type I with psychosis, and right now I'm in the middle of a very severe depressive episode. I can't think, can barely speak, can't read, and forget picking up a needle. Please feel free to email me at if you need to talk. I had my first depressive episode when I was 10 years old, so I have a LOT of experience dealing with this!


Cathy K said...

Hi Pam - it's been awhile since we've heard from you, and I'm just thinking about you and wondering how you're doing. Hope you are continuing to improve. We do miss you. Big hugs, Cathy K

FredaB said...

Hi Pam

Just droppng in to see how you are doing and let you know your friends are still thinking of you.

I live in the NW suburbs so have had basically the same weather as you. This has been the strangest summer I can remember since we have lived here. It is enough to get anyone down. 90 one day and 70 the next. Well Fall is coming and hopefully a nice Indian Summer.

Take care of yourself and look forward to your next post.



Anonymous said...

Just checking in to see how you're doing! Hang in there! We all miss you and wish you were here, but we understand the need for "me time" to kick this bout of crud in the rump and send it packing!

- Sue

venus said...

I will for sure come back to visit your blog :)
Congrats, I love the new layout, the use of tags is great . NICE!

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Annie said...

Has anyone heard from Pam? Please post, I'm worried.

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